Holiday season is in full swing. For most gift seekers that means crowded parking lots, long lines and hours at a mall, but Great Lakes Radio Consortium commentator, Julia King, decided to avoid some of the mass production and commercialization of Christmas this year. Instead, she’ll get back to the “Holiday Spirit” by trying her hand at something a bit closer to home:
Transcript
Holiday Season is in full swing. For most gift seekers that means crowded parking lots, long
lines and hours at a mall. But Great Lakes Radio Consortium commentator, Julia King, decided
to avoid some of the mass production and commercialization of Christmas this year. Instead,
she’ll get back to the “Holiday Spirit” by trying her hand at something a bit closer to home:
Now, I don’t like to brag, but can I just say that I MADE my holiday gifts this year? Let me tell
you the story of my apple butter.
In the fall, when other people were walking through crunchy leaves and carving pumpkins and
going on hayrides, I was riding my environmentally friendly bike to the local farmer’s market
where I bought many pounds of chemical-free Indiana apples and put them in my backpack and
then rode home with hard, yellow delicious apples digging into my spine and under my shoulder
blades. I had to do this many times because my family kept eating the apples. Like snacks,
instead of future gifts. So, I had to make a lot of bike rides with a lot of apples sticking into my
back.
Oh well, holiday spirit.
But I finally stockpile all the apples and the cider – oh yeah, the cider: I had to drive to the
farmers’ market twice in the rain to get fresh, un-pasteurized cider. Okay, so then I have
everything I need and I boil the cider until it reduces by half – which takes a couple of hours, then
I peel the apples (which doesn’t take as long but gives me a cramp in my right hand and makes
me wonder if I’m developing arthritis because I could be, you know; I’m not getting any
younger). Then I dump the apples into the reduced cider and boil and then simmer and then stir
and then boil and then simmer and then add secret, exotic spices (okay, cinnamon), and then boil
and stir and simmer for about thirty-nine days, during which time I can’t leave the house because
the stove is on, and fire safety requires that I stay. Finally, when all the moisture is gone, it’s time
to put the apple butter into jars and “process” it, which is the worst part because if you do it
wrong you could kill people. And that’s always especially sad at the holidays.
So, you have to wash and boil the jars, but NOT the lids with the rubber — because if you do, you
could kill people. You have to keep everything warm, and then you have to pour the apple butter
into the clean jars while it’s still boiling and then wipe the rim with a clean towel so that it seals
right and you don’t kill people.
Then you have to boil it in the closed jars for about fifteen minutes and then when it comes out
it’s supposed to make a sound as it cools and that should mean it’s safe.
And when it’s all done, you look around the kitchen and see dirty pots and pans and globs of
brown stuff all over your stove and yards of apple peels and there, in the midst of this chaos, sit
three little four-ounce jars of apple butter.
And then you go to the store the next day and see that it only costs a dollar-fifty! And you curse
capitalism. And now on top of making your friends and family play Russian roulette with
botulism, they have to sit through the story of how you made their apple butter.
Oh well, holiday spirit.
Julia King lives and writes in Goshen, Indiana. She comes to us by way of the Great Lakes Radio
Consortium.